It was a bright and beautiful
morning. Gina was sitting in the driver’s seat to my right, going at 60
kilometres per hour. Our destination was Dr Love Café located in Petaling Jaya
I slowly flipped through the red
journal I was holding in my hands, while I was talking to Gina. I’ve spent the
whole night writing in that journal. It contained everything that I’ve been
through in the past five years. I wrote all of my sweet, painful, regrettable,
and even tragic moments in that journal.
Going through the pages helped me
escape the confusion of the present reality and took me back to the past. I was
in a dilemma, and I needed to make a decision. A strand of thought kept going
through my mind that day, ‘Anything that happens in the future comes from what
I decide today’. Someone once told me that life is the greatest teacher for
everyone. Armed with a journal that was full of memories, I had to look into
the past to find my answer. I had to find guidance from the teacher that has
faithfully stood by me all these years.
My watch showed that it was
already five minutes after nine o’clock. Dr Love would normally be opened at
nine-thirty in the morning, and Ally, the owner will come around an hour early
to tidy up and open the cafe.
I would always drop by Dr Love during
my free time. I also happened to know Ally quite
well. The café owner would always welcome my friends and I there. Apart from
supporting his quaint café, we preferred to hang around there because we loved
the atmosphere that he had created. The interior design was captivating and
most importantly, the daily menu suited our tastes. The price was also
Gina and I were planning to enjoy
some tea and quiet that morning at Dr Love. However, our plan was disrupted
when our mutual friend, Julia, arrived with shocking news.
“I’m done for, Ally! I’m done for, Gina! I’m done for,
Marina!” muttered Julia as soon as she sat at our table. She looked troubled.
“Why? What’s going on, Julia?” asked Ally. The three
of us waited anxiously for Julia to give us her answer.
“Ally. Do you remember that time when I told you about
Sam and his newly opened business?” Julia asked.
“Yes...” Ally answered with a nod. “‘Why, Julia? Did
something bad happen to that business?”
“All right. You see, I loaned Sam some money…”
“How much did you give him?” asked Ally.
“Not much... just a hundred thousand.”
“Wow!” Gina, Ally and I looked at each other in shock.
“That’s a lot of money you gave him, Julia...” said Gina.
Julia was silent. She kept her
head down but her face clearly showed her apprehension.
“I just wanted to help him, Gina. I believe in his
ideas. I wanted to be Sam’s business partner for both of our futures. That’s
why I was willing to give him that much.”
“Did Sam personally ask you to loan him that amount?”
“No, Gina. When he first told me his business idea, I
was the one who offered to be his business partner. He said that if I was
interested, I could contribute 20% to the capital. But, I willingly offered him
that amount because I truly believe in his idea. I wanted to see that idea become
a successful realization!”
As I sat there and tried to
process the situation, I wondered how Julia could have gotten involved in such
a problem. Knowing her, I knew that she did what she did because she trusted
and loved Sam. Throughout our friendship, I could see that Julia would
sometimes put the need of other people first instead of her own. Especially
those who are special in her life.
“Okay, but what happened? What has gotten you so upset
like this, Julia?” I asked.
“A few days ago, about a month after the opening of
the store, I heard from a friend of his that the local authority is going to
take action against him.”
“What?! Why would the authority wants to take actions
against Sam?” I asked.
“Because he broke the law, but I’m not sure what and
why. I have to ask him for an explanation first,” Julia explained. She paused
before continuing with her story. “If what I’ve heard was right, there is a
possibility that his store will be closed, and he would be prosecuted. He might
even be sued. When that happens, I’m sure that Sam wouldn’t be able to pay me
back any time soon. I’m done for. I took out that money from my own business
capital. I’m dead! The rest of the money would only be enough to cover my daily
“Huh!” Ally sighed as he shook his head. He seemed unable
to believe the things that he had just heard.
“Have you discussed this with Sam?” Gina asked.
“Not yet. I’m waiting for him to come and tell me this
himself” said Julia.
I felt sorry for Julia. I understood
her anxiety. Her presence that morning somehow made me think of my own fate.
So I picked up my journal and
read the last sentences I wrote in my last entry before I made a new entry
If I had uncertainties about the
concept of fate prior to this, looking back through my journal made me realised
how fate goes around in our lives. Our fates have been written, desires and
expectations will be expressed, signs will be given, and actions must be taken.
Fate has many facets that allow us to choose. We have always been given a
choice, and every one of us is responsible for our own life in this mysterious reality
that we live in.