piro beonjin ne ppyame heureneun ibyeol

waenyago mutneun neoui ipsuri seulpeo

“Please let me go…”

“I can’t… I love you too much to let you go…”

ani dagaojima geureon pyojeong jitjido ma

geunyang nareul jinachyeoga

You turned to face him with a sad smile, caressing his cheeks softly and trying to feel him one last time. You know this will break him but it was for the best. It was mainly for his best after all. He stirred but did not wake up.

You left the bed quietly, kissing him goodbye before closing the door to your—his apartment. Forever.

The chemotherapy was hell, it was killing you bit by bit. Your body underwent changes from plump and healthy to sickly and thin. But there was nothing you can do. The cancer was eating you day by day. And him? You’re sure he went crazy trying to search for you. Hakyeon had said so.

sueobsi soksagideon sarangui mareun

challae buseojineun uri dal yaksogun

You’re sorry, of course you do, you had loved him all your life. And you’re sorry you can’t fulfill the promise to be by his side forever. It’s not like it doesn’t hurt you either. But you can’t let him see you slowly dying in front of him, withering just like a unkempt flower.

geunyang nareul dasi ana

‘I want to feel your arms around me once more…’

saranghaetda akkyeosseotda geuppeunida

saranghanda miwojin geot geu iyu hanaya

I’m dying. The night you left me is the night you render me tortured, broken, dead.I thought you said you loved me. I loved you with all my life. I cared for you, always. Why did you do this to me? Don’t you love me anymore?

But then, I loved you, yes I do. Only that I think it had turned into hate. I feel like I hated you, oh yes I do.

You clutched onto Hakyeon’s arm, one hand still holding the letter that he had sent you through the man, his best friend. It was now crumpled and you brought it to your lips, kissing the paper bearing his handwriting gently while trying to muffle the sobs from spilling out. From the corner of your eyes, you can see Hakyeon watching you with sympathy before closing your eyes to conjure a picture of Leo in your mind.

naega neoreul moreulgenni naege geotjitmalhajanha

nal saranghajanha neon geudaerojanha

He had said he hated you, but from the blotches that had ruined his cursive handwritings, you’ve known better.

You love him and so do him too.

neol saranghaji anha

No, I don’t love you. Not anymore.

saranghanda ani nal sarang an handa

kkochipeul ttada geujo hayeomeobsi geunda

You thought about the words etched on the paper he wrote his letter in, the words is like a razor in your head. No matter how convinced you are that he was just trying to lie (he’s trying to lie to himself) but you can’t stand the thought of him hating you.

You twisted the rose’s petals off one by one as you cried ceaselessly.

mianhae apahaetdeon sigandeul noreul dasin nochiji anha

naege angyeo ijen

The crying had its’ toll on you, you were bedridden as it had you on high blood pressure. It was because of the stress on crying. But crying helps me off stress though no one understands nor believe me.

Then one night, your breath labours and the heart machine beeped loudly. Maybe it was your time?

’I’m sorry, Leo,” you said. ‘Goodbye…’

saranghanda saranghanda geu ppunida

saekkamake ta deureogan simjangi teojyeodo

When I heard the real story on why she had left me, I run leaving Hakyeon alone, running towards her in hope that I wasn’t too late to tell her how much I had loved her and there’s not an ounce of hate for her to bring it home.

‘I love you!’ I screamed in my mind, hoping it will reach her in a way only lovers can.

ijen yeogi meomureulge naege haejulge manhaseo

gapeulge manhaseo neomu gomawoseo

You are in a limbo where you’re less than a human but less than a spirit. You looked around only to realize that you’re actually still in the hospital room where you’re first placed in. And it was as it you’re actually waiting for someone to come and visit you one last time. And you might know who it is.

You watched Leo burst into your hospital room, his face drenched with tears that was still sliding down his cheeks. A voice told you to go back into your body, warning you that you have only some time to meet him. You realized that it was the death angel, he had given you chance to thank Leo. You had owed him a lot of things anyway.

meorijijima uri (meorijijima uri)

As you woke up from the comatose state you’re in, you told him everything that he had always wanted to know, the baby that he didn’t get to meet and how much you loved him when the heart machine beeped, signaling it was time for you to go. With a final kiss, you closed your eyes and into the forever world, leaving him to mourn you for the length of life he had left.